


Things Will Come Out Right Now (We Can Make It So)

by mrsfrisby



Series: Only Me Beside You [4]
Category: Journey to Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Genre: Adoption, Angst with a Happy Ending, BB-8 is a natural with babies, F/F, F/M, M/M, Newborn Baby, Poe's not so sure, Well Finn wants to be a dad, Yavin 4, after the war is over, fostering, hard relationship decisions, not good at tagging, rebuilding a life together, refugees from First Order, space dads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-12 18:49:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7118221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsfrisby/pseuds/mrsfrisby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn has completely fallen in love with a newborn baby who is orphaned at the refugee camp he volunteers at. He feels a desperate need to protect this little girl. But Poe doesn't share his desire to become parents quite yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Finn

**Author's Note:**

> He’d always thought that love at first sight was only something you read about or saw in holos. When he first met Poe on the Finalizer, he knew immediately that his now-husband was gorgeous even through all the blood and bruises. And it’s not like they didn’t bond over their escape that day. But the actual falling in love part took time—and the better he knew Poe, the more in love with him Finn fell.
> 
> But now, well, Finn’s not sure that discounting love at first sight is a reasonable thing to do anymore. Because if what he’s feeling as he holds this baby in his arms isn’t love, he doesn’t know what is.

Finn Dameron had, up until this point, thought there was nothing in the entire galaxy more beautiful than his own husband. Especially when his beard’s grown out. And his curls are a little on the long and wild side. And, well, pretty much whenever he’s naked.

While the very image of Poe in his mind’s eye is enough to take his breath away, somehow he manages to push it aside the first time this tiny baby is laid in his arms. She’s screaming fit to kill, her face bright red from the effort she’s putting into it.

“Nothing wrong her with lungs, that’s for certain,” General Organa says, but she’s smiling as she does. 

Finn smiles back. The girl is so small she fits into the crook of just his left arm, leaving him to gently hold one of her impossibly small hands in his right. She opens her fist and closes it tightly around one of his fingers.

“Or her grip,” Finn adds. The baby sucks in a deep breath or two and then nestles down further in his arm, her eyes blinking closed as she does. She sighs as she settles down to sleep.

One of the medics, Jossa, stops by to check on the baby, and Finn hands her over with regret. 

The general’s smile has a sad edge to it now. “What’s going to happen to her?” she asks.

Jossa shakes her head as she examines the little girl. “I have no idea,” she tells them. “Her mother didn’t have any other family in the camp and no one seems to know anything about her. I wish we’d thought to make the woman fill out some paperwork, but she was in so much pain, and we didn’t expect….”

They didn’t expect her to die. Of course they didn’t, Finn thinks. She was all alone. She might even have been sick—really sick—but still needed to relocate after the First Order invaded. Stars knows how many places she got shunted off to before she landed here, in this refugee camp on Yavin 4, to give birth and to depart from this world. She didn’t even have a chance to hold the baby or give her a name before her heart gave out and her body went into shock.

Leaving this tiny, new person all alone in the world.

The general leans down and places the gentlest of kisses on the baby’s forehead. “Poor little love,” she whispers. 

Only when her eyes meet Finn’s does she remember that she has an audience. “Now, don’t you go telling…”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell Kes what a soft touch you’re turning into, General,” he says with a grin. The grin fades, however, when he sees the death glare she’s sending his way. “I mean, Leia,” he corrects himself. “Very definitely Leia.”

She shakes her head at him. “Old habits are hard to break, Finn,” she says. “But do try to break this one. The war is over.”

Leia gives his arm a gentle whack before she leaves the camp for the day. Finn’s shift is ending now as well and he’s tired—he’s been volunteering here as well as working at the hospital in town—but he can’t seem to tear himself away from this child.

“Will she stay in the medical ward?” he asks Jossa. “Or will one of the other families take her in?”

The only answer he gets is a sigh at first, but then Jossa cuddles the baby closer. “I’ve asked around,” she says. “But everyone here is already hurting in so many ways. No one has the resources to take on a stranger’s baby.”

“Then what…?”

“I don’t know, Finn,” she says in a gentle voice. “But we’ll figure it out.” Then she smiles up at him. “Do you mind staying just until I can find someone to work the next shift with her?”

“Do I mind?” he says. “I would literally love to.” 

So Jossa hands the baby back to him, explaining where the bottles and formula are and how to warm it up to the right temperature. 

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” she tells him. “I promise it won’t be too, too long.”

Finn just waves her off. “No worries. I’ll stay as long as you need me.”

Jossa gives his shoulder a squeeze. “You’re a good man, Finn.”

“You sound like Poe,” he says with a smile.

“I’m just glad he realizes it,” Jossa tells him. “Wouldn’t want you married to a guy who doesn’t appreciate what he has.”

With an embarrassed laugh, he says goodbye to her for now. Then he turns his attention back to the tiny, sleeping bundle in his arms. 

He’d always thought that love at first sight was only something you read about or saw in holos. When he first met Poe on the Finalizer, he knew immediately that his now-husband was gorgeous even through all the blood and bruises. And it’s not like they didn’t bond over their escape that day. But the actual falling in love part took time—and the better he knew Poe, the more in love with him Finn fell.

But now, well, Finn’s not sure that discounting love at first sight is a reasonable thing to do anymore. Because if what he’s feeling as he holds this baby in his arms isn’t love, he doesn’t know what is.

It’s hard, in the moment, not to wonder about his own parents. Did they love him at first sight? Did they fight to keep him safe when the First Order came for him? Or did they hand him over willingly? He looks down at the tiny sleeping girl in his arms again and shakes his head as he thinks that she’s just like he was in some ways—cut adrift in the world at too young an age.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he whispers to her. “I promise I won’t leave you until we know what’s going to happen. You won’t be all alone.”

Just as Leia did, Finn leans down and presses the softest of kisses on the baby’s head. “Everything’s going to be okay,” he tells her.

He resolves then and there to make sure that he just told her is the truth.


	2. Poe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Whose baby is that?” he asks as quietly as he can. Then he listens as his husband tells him a long story about a refugee who died in childbirth and a baby—this baby—who had nowhere else to go. When Finn finally stops talking, he glances down at said baby and Poe can tell already that they’re going to be in big trouble here.
> 
> “Finn, we can’t just keep her,” Poe says. “You know that, right?”

Two days. Poe has been gone for two whole days, and frankly that’s about as long as he’s willing to go without Finn by his side anymore. Sure, he knows he’s still in the early stages of setting up his own business—it’s not like he’s going to turn away passengers requesting a flight off-moon—but he’s also missing his husband so badly he almost physically aches with it.

It’s late when he finally walks through the door of their nearly-finished new house, but he knows what he needs right now. The door’s barely closed behind him before he’s simultaneously tearing his shirt over his head and kicking his boots off. His hand on his belt buckle, Poe makes his way to their bedroom with one thing and one thing only on his mind.

He’s already got his pants off by the time he crawls into bed, reaching for Finn in the darkness.

Finn, however, is not there.

Poe sits up, frantic for a moment, before he realizes that his husband is probably just in the refresher. Or the kitchen. Or even out on the little porch they finished building just last week.

With more energy than he thought he could still muster on so little sleep, Poe scrambles back out of bed and calls out, “Finn?”

Instead of calling back or even coming to find him, Poe just hears Finn give a quiet, “Shush!” from the spare bedroom.

“What the kriff?” Poe mutters as he walks to the next room to see what Finn is up to. He stops in his tracks when he does. Because sitting in a chair is his husband holding what appears to be a baby.

Poe actually rubs his eyes for a second to make sure they’re not playing tricks on him. When he opens them again, though, Finn is still in the same chair holding the same excruciatingly tiny baby. 

“Finn, what…?”

“Shh…” Finn whispers. “It took forever to get her to sleep.”

For a second, Poe does indeed shush, mostly because he’s at a complete loss as to what to do otherwise. He does, however, have questions. Lots of them, really. Including why there’s a baby not only in their house but in Finn’s arms. In the middle of the night. When apparently she doesn’t appear to want to sleep.

Poe clears his throat and shivers very slightly. The lack of clothing is becoming a problem now that he’s not tangled up in bed with Finn. 

After a couple of deep breaths, he finally finds his voice—his very low, whispering voice.

“Whose baby is that?” he asks as quietly as he can. Then he listens as his husband tells him a long story about a refugee who died in childbirth and a baby—this baby—who had nowhere else to go. When Finn finally stops talking, he glances down at said baby and Poe can tell already that they’re going to be in big trouble here.

“Finn, we can’t just keep her,” Poe says. “You know that, right?”

But Poe can see just from the look on Finn’s face that he did not, in fact, know that. 

“It’s not like I stole her,” Finn tells him. “I filled out a ton of paperwork with the New Republic officials at the camp to be her temporary guardian.” He glances down at the tiny, sleeping girl in his arms and a look of dismay crosses his face. “No one else wanted her, Poe. I just couldn’t leave her there.”

With a shake of his head, Poe begins to mentally shore up the arguments he’ll use against Finn’s obvious desire to keep this baby. 

Before he can say anything, though, Finn beats him to it. “She doesn’t even have a name,” he tells Poe in a quiet voice. “I was thinking we could call her…”

“No,” Poe interjects. “No naming her. She’s not ours, Finn. If you name something, it becomes a part of you.”

“Like I did?” Finn says with a smile. And Poe simply can’t resist the urge to touch his smile, his lips. He moves in closer to Finn and runs his fingers across that damned supple mouth before he leans in to kiss it. From between them, the baby lets out a piteous cry.

“Oh stars, she must be hungry again,” Finn says. “Here, hold her a minute while I get a bottle ready for her.”

And without any further ado, Finn puts the baby into Poe’s arms and rushes out of the guest room. Poe is at a loss. He doesn’t even really know how to hold a baby, let alone get one to stop crying. “Listen, kid, it’s okay,” he tells her. “Finn’ll get your dinner for you.”

But the kid just keeps crying and Poe is frankly out of his depth. He has no idea how to make her stop or why on earth Finn brought a baby home in the first place. Sure, Poe wants kids. In theory. Eventually. But not right after they’ve just finished (mostly) building their house. Not when they’re supposed to be finally having time just for the two of them after so many years of war and living in barracks. 

He’s not ready. And if this baby’s behavior is any indication, she’s not ready for him, either. BB-8, however, seems to be right up the baby’s alley. He whirls into the room, making a bee-line for Poe and the baby. And the more the droid beeps and whirs, the quieter she gets. BB-8 circles them, thrilled that he calmed the baby, while Poe holds her awkwardly at arm’s length.

Finn finally rushes back into the room with a huge smile on face. “The two most beautiful people I’ve ever seen,” he says, wrapping his arms around Poe and the little girl, despite BB-8’s protests that clearly he is also very pleasing to look at. Finn pats their droid’s head saying, “You know you’re beautiful, too, BB,” and then takes the baby from Poe and slips the bottle into her waiting mouth. Poe can see her tiny body relaxing into Finn. Even if Poe is completely at a loss, Finn is a natural at this. Poe watches him hold the baby close and smile down at her—one of the two most beautiful people his husband’s ever seen.

Suddenly, Poe’s having trouble breathing. His pulse is racing and his stomach feels like it’s going to hurl everything he ate for dinner out all over their new guest room. It’s not like this has never happened to him before—the plain, unadulterated panic he’s feeling right now. It’s just that he thought those days were over. That he didn’t have to worry about life throwing him a swing he didn’t expect. Now here’s Finn, Finn of all people, throwing the punch himself.

He needs to get out of here. Fast. And while he’s gone, he has to figure out what to say or do to make Finn understand that the timing just isn’t right. 

They cannot keep this baby.


	3. Finn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as he leans down to kiss her downy head, Poe walks into the house. Finn can see Poe’s eyes take in the gathered group—his husband, his two best friends, even his droid—and then linger on the baby in Finn’s arms.
> 
> The confusion on Poe’s face is almost unbearable. “I, um, just wanted to pop in to let you know that I picked up another flight for tonight,” he tells Finn. 
> 
> “Oh,” Finn says, his throat too constricted to force anything else out.

For two people who claim to never want kids themselves, Rey and Jess spend a lot of time cooing over the baby (as much, really, as BB-8 does these days). Not that Finn minds. Poe’s been…absent…the last couple of days. Taking on extra flights off-moon, “To make some money to finish off the house,” he told Finn. But Finn wasn’t born yesterday—he sees that Poe is absent in mind, even when he’s present in body. BB-8 is at a complete loss to understand why Poe is around so seldom, but Finn knows.

Poe doesn’t want the baby.

The clarity with which Finn knows this scares him a little. It’s not that he hasn’t been aware for a long, long time that he can read Poe like a book. It’s just that usually they’re on the same page within that book. Having Poe want something in complete opposition to what Finn wants so desperately is new and deeply unsettling. Poe has always said he wanted kids, but now that one has essentially dropped into their laps—one that needs them so badly—Poe doesn’t seem so interested anymore.

“How did you know you didn’t want to have kids?” Finn asks his two friends abruptly. Rey looks up from the book she’s been trying to read to the baby even as Jess flies little model X-Wings around the girl’s head. 

“Are you asking me or Jess that question?” Rey says. “Because the answer is very different depending on who you’re talking to.”

“Even though the end result is still the same,” Jess adds.

“Well, then either of you,” Finn replies. “Both of you. Just maybe not at the same time.” He knows all too well what happens when Rey and Jess both wind up talking at the same time, and it can get a little chaotic, even though it generally ends with both of them doubled over each other laughing.

“Okay,” Rey says. “Then for me, I honestly don’t think someone who’s struggled with the dark side of the Force the way I have should consider having a child who might do the same.”

Finn’s eyebrows furrow as he thinks it over. “So you don’t want to risk bringing another dark force into the world?”

“Pretty much,” she says. “But that’s not Jess’s reasoning.”

He looks at Rey’s wife questioningly. 

“I’ve just never been the maternal type,” Jess tells him. “For some people, becoming a parent is a burning desire, but I’ve never been one of them.” She reaches out a hand over the baby to Rey. “I mean, if Rey’d had strong feelings about wanting a baby, maybe I’d have considered it. But as it stands, we both want the same thing.”

“Just ourselves and no one else,” Rey says with a grin.

It’s difficult for Finn to understand that—not only that they don’t want a child, but that the thought of not having one makes them both actively happy. He loves the two of them too much to ever do anything other than respect any decisions they make about their lives, though, and would never question something they’re both so much on the same page about.

Even if he does envy the fact that they’re on the same page.

“I think that’s what Poe wants, too,” he says, his voice tinged with sadness.

“You only just got married a few months ago,” Rey reminds him gently. “And the house isn’t even done yet.”

“Rey’s right,” Jess says. “And believe it pains me to admit that.” This garners a small whack from Rey that’s more playful than powerful (though probably still a little powerful given that it’s Rey). “Besides, I’ve heard him talking about wanting kids for years,” she continues as she rubs her arm. “I think it’s just the timing, Finn.”

They’re probably right—he knows they are. But it doesn’t make the whole situation any easier. Finn reaches down and lifts the baby from the little hammock-like contraption Leia and Kes brought over for them earlier that morning. As soon as the baby’s in his arms, she nestles in and closes her eyes. Then she sighs as if she’s relieved somehow—relieved to be with him.

Stars, he loves this baby so much. 

He even has a name picked out—one that he knows Poe would love if only his husband would ever allow him to say it out loud.

Just as he leans down to kiss her downy head, Poe walks into the house. Finn can see Poe’s eyes take in the gathered group—his husband, his two best friends, even his droid—and then linger on the baby in Finn’s arms.

The confusion on Poe’s face is almost unbearable. “I, um, just wanted to pop in to let you know that I picked up another flight for tonight,” he tells Finn. 

“Oh,” Finn says, his throat too constricted to force anything else out. Because Poe is leaving. Again. 

“Yeah, I only have a few minutes to get ready,” Poe continues. Then he looks at Rey and Jess. “Sorry I can’t stay to catch up,” he tells them before he leaves the room.

Silence falls in the guest room. Finn can’t take his eyes off the door that his husband just walked through, even though he can feel that Rey and Jess’s eyes are glued on him.

“Um, can you take her?” he asks Rey. She immediately reaches out for the baby, and he can feel the sorrow and sympathy radiating off of her. It’s almost more than he can bear right now.

Finn follows Poe through the door and into their bedroom, BB-8 on his heels. “Listen, buddy, we need a minute, okay?” Finn says, reaching down to caress the droid’s hard domed head. BB-8 looks at Finn, then Poe, then back to Finn again before emitting a sad beep and leaving the room.

Poe’s already pulled on a new shirt and changed his boots, getting ready to head out again.

“Do you really need to take this flight?” Finn asks. 

“Can’t say no to the work when I’m just establishing the business, right?” Poe says with a strained smile. “We both knew it would be long hours at first.”

Finn watches him gather up his comm and a change of flight gear. “I haven’t seen you for days, Poe,” he says. “I miss you.”

The strain fades from Poe’s smile for a moment, but then the smile fades, too, leaving him looking confused and tired. Finn crosses the room in a couple of long strides and wraps his arms around his husband. It takes Poe a split second to relax into the hug, but when he does, Finn nearly collapses from relief. They hold on to each other, tight, as Finn buries his nose in Poe’s neck.

When they finally break apart, Finn holds Poe’s face in his cupped hands. “I love you so much,” he says, almost desperately.

“I love you, too, Finn,” Poe replies, his voice quiet.

With a deep breath and more emotional restraint than he’s ever needed to muster since defecting from the First Order, Finn says, “Please talk to me, Poe.” Tears start to form in his eyes, but he doesn’t move to wipe them away. “I can bring her back if that’s what you want. I’ll explain to them. Tell them it was really was only temporary. That I…that we…that the timing just isn’t right, and that….”

“Finn?” Poe’s voice is as tired as he looks. “I just….” But instead of continuing, he leans in and kisses Finn. There’s something desperate about the kiss, at least for Finn. By the time Poe turns and walks through their bedroom door, Finn’s breathless and miserable.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” he says to no one in particular. And while he’s not expecting a response of any kind, he gets one anyway. The baby begins to wail as the soon of their front door slamming shut behind Poe, followed swiftly by the sounds of Rey and Jess panicking and BB-8 beeping and whirring to try to hush the baby.

Finn sits down on the middle of their bedroom floor. It seems impossible that after all he’s been through fighting on both sides of the war that this is what’s going to break him—the necessity of choosing one or the other of the people he loves most.


	4. Poe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No, I…” Poe begins, but doesn’t know where to go from there. He’s never been at such a loss for words in his entire life as he has this week.
> 
> “So, the baby,” Kes says. 
> 
> “The baby.” Poe’s shoulders deflate as he says those two little words. “I don’t know what to do, Dad.”

Poe’s been doing a lot of flying. When he can’t find an excuse—or the work—to be airborne, he’s taken to walking. Not only to get out of the house, but also to avoid the coming storm. He wishes he could talk—really talk—to Finn about all of the fear that’s been darkening his mind, but he doesn’t want to push his husband away. He loves him so much that he’s in actual agony that he might lose him.

So, this morning, Poe walks to the one place, and the one person, he’s always been able to turn to no matter what’s going on in his life. He heads to his dad.

Never has Poe had to knock on the door of the house he grew up in, and it doesn’t occur to him that on this weekend morning, he might actually be interrupting something. Even when he hears laughter—Kes and Leia’s—he doesn’t turn back. Not until he walks into the living room and sees the woman he used to call General and ma’am with an urgent respect in his voice curled into her dad, arms and legs wrapped around each other on the sofa, does he realize this is a mistake.

“Oh stars, I’m so sorry,” Poe stammers out. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’ll knock next time.” 

He’s backing out of the room, still apologizing, when Kes calls out, “Don’t be crazy, Poe. Come and sit with us a while.”

“No, I’ll come back, Dad,” Poe says. “Maybe tomorrow morning? That way you’ll know when to expect me?”

Leia sits up on the sofa, and throws Poe a searching look. “Is everything all right with Finn?” she asks. And really, Poe shouldn’t be surprised that Leia can read him this well after all these years—but he still is a little surprised by it.

“Finn’s fine,” he says, trying to evade her question.

“That’s not what I meant, Poe,” she says softly.

Poe looks out the window into the backyard he ran around as a boy. The one with the Force tree he’d always sought out when he was feeling perplexed or overwhelmed, and the old shed that still holds his mother’s ancient A-wing. 

“Look, I know you’re both crazy about the baby,” he says, not even bothering to look at his dad and Leia. “I just…I need to…but…this clearly wasn’t a good idea. I’ll leave you guys to…whatever you were doing.”

But before he can walk out of the room, his dad is off the sofa and touching his arm. “You should know by now that the person whose side I’m always on is you,” his dad says.

Leia gets up off the sofa now as well. “You two need to talk,” she says, her voice still gentle. “I’ll go for a little stroll through the jungle.”

Poe is about to protest again, when his dad kisses the top of her head and says, “I think we’ll go for that walk, if you don’t mind.” He nods towards Poe. “My boy looks like he needs one.”

With that, Leia curls back up on the sofa, and Kes wraps his arm around Poe’s shoulders. “Let’s go,” he says, his voice as strong and firm as Poe had hoped it would be.

So they walk. Out into the yard, and onto a path they cut through the jungle themselves when Poe was just a boy. After about twenty minutes of silence, Kes finally asks, “Do you really need to talk? Or would you rather take the time to think?”

“No, I…” Poe begins, but doesn’t know where to go from there. He’s never been at such a loss for words in his entire life as he has this week.

“So, the baby,” Kes says. 

“The baby.” Poe’s shoulders deflate as he says those two little words. “I don’t know what to do, Dad.”

Kes watches him as they walk side by side. “Do you not want to have children?” he asks.

“No, I do. Eventually,” Poe tells him. “But not right now. Not when we’ve only just gotten married.”

“Because you need time to be with just Finn,” his dad says.

“We’ve always been at war, Dad,” Poe explains. “The whole time I’ve known him it’s been one battle after another, week after week when I didn’t know if we’d make it through whatever came next.”

“But now here you are, able to just relax and be together, and Finn wants to adopt this baby?” 

Poe looks at his dad. “Pretty much, yes.”

“You know, your mother and I went through something similar,” Kes says. “We were at war during most of our time together. The same battles, but from completely different places. She was in the air, I was on the ground.” Kes pauses and Poe feels his eyes on him. “We worried about having children—about bringing a baby into a world filled with so much violence and uncertainty.”

“So why did you do it?” Poe asks. “Why did you decide to have me? Or was I an accident?” He’s not sure he really wants to know the answer to that question, though, now that the words are out of his mouth.

“No, you were very much planned,” is his father’s reply. “We wanted you desperately. And in the end, we figured there wouldn’t be any one good time to take the plunge. Even if peace came, we knew it might not last. But you gave us a reason to hope, Poe. You gave us a reason to believe that all of the sacrifice would be worth it.” 

Poe has never heard his father’s voice waver as it is in this moment. “Your mother was adamant that we not wait any longer,” Kes continues. “So we didn’t.” He smiles at Poe. “Best decision we ever made.”

“Mom was a force to be reckoned with,” Poe says, smiling back.

“Wouldn’t have had it any other way.” His dad chuckles to himself.

“Dad, has it ever occurred to you that you have a thing for extremely powerful women?” Poe asks, only half-joking.

“Occurred to me?” Kes replies. “I revel in it. Who wants a life partner who isn’t strong to the core?” He pauses as Poe lifts up a tangle of vines growing in their path. “They’re different, your mother and Leia. Shara was like you—reckless when it came to doing the right thing. Rushing in to any and every situation, fearless, with her guns literally blazing.”

“And Leia?” Poe asks, genuinely interested to hear his dad talk about the two women who have made up his life.

“Leia’s more like the Force tree out in the yard,” Kes says. “Stalwart. Able to stand tall no matter what storm rages around her. She has so much strength that she can actually share it with the people around her. She shares it with me.”

Poe glances sideways at his dad and shakes his head. “Stars, Dad, you have it so bad for her.”

“No denying it,” Kes says. “I’m a lucky man.”

It takes Poe a moment to respond. Then he says, “I am, too.”

“Just so,” his dad agrees. “Finn is one in a million.”

“His heart is so huge, Dad,” Poe continues.

“It’s his strength,” Kes agrees. “He came out of the First Order with that heart still intact. To survive that and have so much love to give you is pretty miraculous.”

Poe thinks that over for a while. Finn really is remarkable. Not that Poe didn’t know that before—not that he didn’t sense it the very moment Finn took off that damned white Stormtrooper helmet and Poe could see the fear and the hope in his eyes. Now, all these years later, the fear is gone but the hope—the sheer optimism and love and, yes, strength—shines in Finn’s eyes all the time.

“I don’t want to lose him, Dad,” Poe says quietly.

Kes stops and puts his hand on Poe’s shoulder. “You’re not going to,” he tells Poe. “You’ll work this out together no matter what you decide.”

Poe shakes his head. “He loves the baby so much, Dad. I don’t know if he’ll be able to forgive me if I can’t do this right now.”

“You need to talk to him, son,” Kes says. “You can work it out together, but it’s going to be work.”

It’s difficult for Poe to believe that, though. Because he knows that they both can’t have what they want right now—and that there’s no compromise when it comes to something like this. 

Either way, one of them loses something important. And he’s so afraid it just might end up being each other.


	5. Finn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments (those who chose sides in this story, and those who didn't)!

Even though Finn said he’d bring the baby back, he can’t bring himself to do it. Instead, she’s still at their house, and he’s been depending on a steady stream of help from BB-8, Rey, Jess, Leia, and Kes. They’ve all been helping out with the baby when Finn has to be at the hospital, and even sometimes when he’s volunteering at the refugee camp. But there’s been no one to help out at night (BB-8 can only do so much and even droids have to power down sometimes), and with Poe gone so often, he’s been completely alone with the night feedings and diaper changes. 

He’s more tired than he can even remember being, even as part of the First Order. Without anything like a proper night’s sleep in too long, he’s dragging his feet. Earlier today he fell asleep in the break room at the hospital, slumping down onto the table there instead of eating his lunch. 

Being a parent is impossibly hard, he realizes. And it’s not like he has any memories of his own childhood or parents’ care to fall back upon—he’s completely winging it.

He’s not sure how much longer he can completely wing it.

Poe has only been home in brief snatches between flights, never staying long enough to really talk about the baby or the strain she’s putting on their relationship. 

Finn’s not sure how much longer her can handle that, either. They have to talk this through—they have to reach a decision about what to do. And they have to do it together. The question is, how can he reassure Poe that this conversation not only can happen, but that it won’t break them?

When in doubt, Finn does what he always does: he comms Rey. 

“What’s wrong?” she asks before she even says hello.

“How do you know something’s wrong?”

Her only reply is a raised eyebrow.

“Okay, so you always know when something is wrong,” he concedes. The whole Force thing can be a blessing and curse at the same time. “I need your help.”

Then he explains his plan to her—the one where she watches over the baby while he does the one thing he knows will get Poe’s attention, and remind his husband that they are in this together. Whatever form “this” happens to take.

Rey meets him half an hour later. “Are you sure you want to do this?” she asks, taking the baby from Finn. “The last time you did, you nearly broke your back.”

“Last time I was still recovering from when I took a lightsaber to my spine,” he reminds her. “And regardless, it worked.”

Finn can still remember the hours it took to lay out the white-barked tree limbs in giant letters that read “MARRY ME, POE?” He also remembers the look on Poe’s face when he jumped out of his X-wing after just having flown over Finn’s handiwork—the sheer joy in his eyes as he fell into Finn’s arms and whispered, “Yes, yes, yes,” in Finn’s ears.

It took them a while to actually get married, of course, because of the war. But now they are. And Finn can’t say that his love for Poe has diminished one iota over the years they’ve been together. If anything, it’s grown. And it needs to keep growing. 

Which means it’s time for another grand gesture.

“You know we’re all just going to tease you about this all over again,” Rey tells him. “Jess especially.”

“Well, I can’t help it if you married a mouthy pilot,” he says with a smile.

“Unlike you,” she reminds him. 

“Poe’s not mouthy,” Finn replies. “Or if he is, it’s in a completely different and much more....”

“Stop,” Rey interrupts. “Stop now before your over-sharing becomes a problem. I already know more about your sex life than I ever wanted to.”

Finn grins at her, but then it falls from his face. “I love him. I have to do this,” he tells her.

Rey nods, because she understands. She always does. “Then get to it.”

They’re on Yavin 4 now, and there are no white trees to be found on this particular moon. Not that it would matter anyway—Poe won’t be home until the middle of the night. So Finn has chosen another material to spell out his message altogether: phosphorescent rocks. He’d never seen anything like them until they came here to this dense, wet jungle, but like the fireflies, the tiny caterpillars in the trees, and even the algae in the lakes, these rocks glow at night. Which means if he does this right, Poe should be able to see the words as he lands. 

 

It takes him hours to finish and his back is, indeed, aching. As are his shoulders, his knees, and his neck. Finn was already running on fumes. Now he’s about to collapse.

By the time Rey hands the baby back to him and kisses him on the cheek to say goodnight, he’s worried he might actually collapse. He hurries home to make sure he gets the baby fed and changed and bathed before exhaustion claims him completely.

BB-8 greets him at the door with a flurry of beeps and a constant barrage of worried chatter about Finn’s vital signs. But what can Finn do? He has to take care of the tiny girl in his care—and he might not have her to take care of for much longer anyway. The thought of losing her makes his chest hurt, but he knows deep down that he can’t keep putting it off forever.

Poe doesn’t want to have a child right now. And Finn can’t force him to. They’re a team, and they have to make decisions as one. It took a while, but Finn can recognize now that he was not upholding his end of that bargain when he took the baby home without so much as checking in with Poe. And now, well, he’s going to pay a high price for that mistake.

He kisses her soft forehead as he wraps her in a towel after her bath and holds her close. “Tomorrow,” he tells her. “Tomorrow I’ll talk to the New Republic people. And you’ll find the right home with someone else, I promise.”

But the baby is sound asleep and Finn’s not far off from it. He slips her into her little nightgown and lays her down in her basinet-like crib before he nearly falls into bed himself, flat on his back, shoes still on, arms thrown to his sides. His last waking thought is that tomorrow is going to be the hardest day of his entire life.


	6. Poe

There’s no mistaking it. Even as tired as Poe is after such a long flight, there’s no way to miss the words glowing gently on the ground beneath him. “LOVE YOU ALWAYS.” And it’s not like he doesn’t know that the words are there for him, or even how much work Finn put into spelling them out in the phosphorescent stones. A lump forms in Poe’s throat as he lands the ship he bought after the war was over. 

Love you always. It’s almost more than he can bear right now. That Finn would do something like this in a moment like this is just too much. Poe loves him to the point that it physically hurts sometimes. And Poe’s the reason Finn is going to turn the baby back over to the New Republic services—the reason why Finn’s heart is going to be shattered in a thousand pieces.

Poe walks through the field outside of the hangar and sits in the midst of Finn’s latest grand gesture. He inwardly vows not to let Jess ever know about this so that she won’t tease Finn again the way she did after his proposal. Although maybe Jess already knows? Someone had to mind the baby while Finn did all this work. And it’s been crystal clear that everyone adores the kid and is willing to help out with her at a moment’s notice.

His hand reaches for one of the smaller stones that make up the A of ALWAYS, and he rubs his thumb over the hard, glowing surface of it before putting it in his pocket. He needs to go home—to see Finn and hold him and finally talk this through, even if it is the middle of the night.

It’s not like Poe doesn’t know the worst case scenario that could come of this talk. He’s been steeling himself for it for days, in fact. Now it’s time to finally face up to it. Very slowly, he walks to his speeder bike and starts it up. Home is calling to him—and he can’t avoid it any longer.

 

When he gets there, though, he finds his husband lying crossways on the bed, shoes and clothes still on, snoring loudly. Poe touches his arm gently to try to wake Finn, but even a more forceful shake doesn’t do it. Finn is out cold.

With a sigh, Poe removes Finn’s shoes and socks, unbuckles his pants and slips them off of his husband as gently as he can. Then he maneuvers Finn into a better position on the bed and lays a blanket over him. Poe is just about to lean down to kiss him when a scream echoes through the door.

The baby is awake.

But even her cries don’t wake Finn. Poe worries that nothing could right now. It occurs to him that Finn’s been carrying the entire load of taking care of a newborn night and day by himself—and that Finn’s definitely worse for the wear as a result.

So now it’s Poe’s turn to do what needs to be done. He walks into the spare room and picks the baby up awkwardly, which just makes the kid scream even louder. BB-8’s powered down for the night and Finn’s out cold. “It’s just you and me, kid,” he tells her in a low voice. “So we have to make the most of it.”

He holds her in one arm as he reads through the directions Finn still has out on the kitchen counter as to how to warm a bottle and how much of the fluid to give the kid. Then he gets to work. As he does, somehow he manages to get the baby into a more comfortable position in his arms. 

More comfortable for him, anyway. The baby starts wailing again. And Poe starts panicking. 

Then he gathers himself together just as the bottle is finished warming. If he can destroy whole star bases, win battles for the good guys, and even escape from the First Order with the love of his life by his side, he can get one tiny baby to stop crying.

At least he hopes he can.

Acting on complete instinct, he starts to sing a lullaby his mother sang to him when he was a boy, his voice rising and falling with the simple words and tune. Before he can even get the baby back into the guest room, she stops crying. So Poe keeps singing, one song after another, thinking of his mother—who wanted to have him even though the whole world was being torn apart—as they settle into a comfortable chair Finn’s moved into the room for this very purpose. She drinks down her bottle, her eyes closed as if she could slip into sleep at any moment. 

When she’s done, he lays her down on a changing pad that came from Force knows where, cleans her up, and slips a new diaper onto her. Never once does he stop singing. The baby opens her eyes wide for a second, staring at him in the half-light. He reaches out to touch her hand, and she wraps his tiny fist around his thumb. Despite himself, Poe leans down and kisses that little hand. Then he gets her settled into her little sack of a sleeping garment again.

Now that she’s all dressed and ready to go back to sleep, he’s somehow proud of himself that he could do all of this without Finn’s help—without Finn even knowing what was going on. Poe feels like he’s helped both the baby and his husband all in one fell swoop and he’ll be damned, but it’s a good feeling.

Then, just as he’s about to lay the baby down, there’s a loud bang coming from somewhere in the house followed by the sound of Finn cursing. Poe rushes to their bedroom to see what’s wrong, the baby still in his arms. 

“What happened?” he blurts out. “Are you okay?”

Finn’s on the floor on his side of the bed, rubbing his shoulder and looking like a complete disaster. “I woke up and realized what time it was,” he tells Poe. “I knew I missed a feeding, and I guess I just…panicked…tripped out of bed.”

Poe sits down on the floor beside Finn, the baby still cradled in his arms. “I took care of it,” he tells Finn. “I fed her and changed her. She’s all set, buddy.”

Even in the darkened room, Poe can see that Finn looks incredulous. “You fed the baby?” he says. “And changed her diaper?”

Poe nods. “Sang the kid a few songs, too,” he tells Finn. “Turns out she likes my voice as much as you do.”

Finn nudges him, and then leans in to rest his head on Poe’s shoulder. “Thanks,” he says in a quiet voice. “I don’t know how I slept through it all.”

“Well, you’re pretty exhausted,” Poe replies. “You’ve been shouldering the whole load with the kid this entire time.” He pauses and kisses the top of Finn’s head. “It wasn’t fair of me to leave you to deal with it on your own. I’m so sorry, Finn.”

Finn looks up at him. “And I’m sorry I made such a huge decision without you,” he tells Poe. “I shouldn’t have signed any paperwork, even if it was temporary, without knowing if you’d be on board.” 

Silence falls between them, the only sound in the room the gentle breathing of the baby.

“I saw your message,” Poe says. 

With a nod, Finn says, “I needed you to know,” he tells Poe. “Whatever happens, I’ll always love you. Nothing could change that.”

“Nothing could change that for me either,” Poe replies.

Finn takes a deep breath, and Poe can tell he has something to say but needs the time to get it out. “I’m finally going to meet with the New Republic folks in the morning,” he breathes out. “Explain the situation. Maybe I can help them find another family for her. It shouldn’t be that hard, right?” 

Poe’s heart breaks at about the same moment that Finn’s voice does.

“She is pretty cute,” he tells Finn.

“She is,” Finn echoes. “They’ll find another foster home for her soon enough.”

“Sure,” Poe agrees. “I mean, she’s a sweet little thing. Good, strong grip. Clearly has good taste in music.”

When Finn doesn’t reply in any way, Poe goes on, not knowing what he’s going to say next until he actually says it. “The only thing she doesn’t seem to have going for her is a name.”

It takes a second for Finn’s eyes to meet Poe’s in the darkness, but when their eyes lock, neither of them looks away.

“I had a name in mind,” Finn says at last.

Poe nods. “I know,” he replies. “Care to share it with me?”

“I thought…I mean….” Finn stammers. He takes a breath before he continues. 

“Shara,” Finn finally says. “I wanted to call her Shara. I thought you’d want to name her after your mother.”

Shifting the baby so that she’s lying between the two of them as she soundly sleeps, Poe repeats in a low voice, “Shara.” 

They hold her together and lean their foreheads against each other. 

“Finn?”

“Yeah, Poe?”

“Dad and Leia would always be here if we need them, right?” Poe says. “I mean, if we need time to ourselves.”

Finn nods. “Rey and Jess would, too,” Finn tells him. “We’d have help, Poe.”

“And it’s not like we didn’t want to have kids someday,” Poe says.

“That’s true.” Finn’s voice sounds stronger, less destroyed than it was just a couple of minutes ago.

“And sometimes you find exactly what you want when you don’t expect to.”

Finn slips his hand into Poe’s. “Just look at the two of us.”

They kiss, the baby still held between them. 

“We should get Shara back to bed,” Poe says, and Finn smiles at him.

“Yes,” Finn replies. “Shara needs her rest.”

“So do you.”

Finn laughs quietly. “I wouldn’t argue with a few hours of sleep.”

Poe stretches his legs and manages to get up off the floor while still holding Shara in his arms. “I’m on duty tonight,” he says to his husband. “And then when you’ve caught up on your sleep….”

“Sex,” Finn says, a huge grin on his face now. “I want lots and lots of sex.”

“I was going to say we could get up with her in shifts,” Poe says with a quiet laugh. “But I’m all in for the sex, buddy.” He touches his husband’s face. “For now, though, I’ve got this.”

With great effort, Finn finally pulls himself off the floor. “I love you both so much,” Finn whispers in Poe’s ear.

Finn kisses Poe and then the baby. “Goodnight, Shara,” he says.

“Goodnight, Daddy!” Poe says in a high falsetto, making Finn burst out laughing.

“No, it’s too much,” Finn snorts out. “I’m going to lose it and wake her up.”

Poe kisses him again. 

“Go to bed, Finn.”

“I will.” 

They kiss one last time and Poe takes the baby—Shara—back to her bedroom. He gazes at her for a long moment before he kisses her forehead and lies her down in her basinet. 

“Wait till your grandfather hears your new name, kid,” he whispers. 

He makes sure the baby monitor is switched on, and then leaves, finally collapsing in bed himself. Finn pulls him close and they hold onto to each other as they both drift off to sleep—at least for a little while.

**Author's Note:**

> Title of the series and this piece come from the song "No One Is Alone" from Stephen Sondheim's "Into the Woods".


End file.
